


Old Hearts

by Water_Nix



Category: Glee
Genre: Engagement, M/M, post episode 5x01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-28
Updated: 2013-09-28
Packaged: 2017-12-27 21:15:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/983707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Water_Nix/pseuds/Water_Nix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt gets ready for his "surprise" proposal, still unsure what he's going to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Old Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> Post ep 5x01 reaction ficlet. Mentions my 4x22 reaction ficlet, which is on my tumblr [here](http://the-water-nixie.tumblr.com/post/50119508053/post-ep-4x22-ficlet).

Kurt takes a deep breath, sliding his fingers under the collar of his purple shirt and pulling it up beneath his jacket. He'd brought the suit with him on a whim; he's still not really sure why. He fiddles with the buttons for the tenth time and lets out a long sigh before taking three steps over to the full-length mirror. He stares at his reflection. The suit fits him perfectly of course. He runs his fingertips over the textured jacket that had caught his eye in the first place. It really is the perfect outfit, but something is missing. He still feels naked.

Instead of driving himself any crazier worrying about it, he goes back to his suitcase and reorganizes his socks. He's already done it. He knows he's thoroughly packed, more than ready to go to the airport. But he's not going to the airport, not really. Not yet. His dad had an odd glint in his eye at breakfast and Kurt knows he's in on it, too. He knows that his dad knows; the only question is whether Burt knows that Kurt knows that _he_ knows.... or however that goes. Kurt rolls his eyes at himself and sits down on the bed next to his suitcase.

Sam had been chipper before leaving the house that morning. “ _You should wear something really nice today_ ,” he'd said. “ _Maybe something blue_.” That tied in with Rachel's bizarre phone call and request of, “ _What goes best with yellow?_ ” the night before and, well, Kurt knows that it's happening today.

He'd thought that maybe Blaine had changed his mind, had realized how nuts it all was after regionals was said and done and they'd gone to the movies and had that picnic and gotten back together....

Santana had warned him about the ring, about Blaine's plan to ask Kurt to marry him that apparently half of Ohio already knew about, but his flight was supposed to be leaving today. He'd assumed that it wasn't happening, not yet. He'd assumed that Blaine was waiting for a more appropriate time.

He still doesn't know what to say. Hell, he doesn't even know what to _think_. Blaine is crazy. The whole thing is just _crazy_. But Kurt loves Blaine. He feels safe and loved and cherished and understood with Blaine. And above all, he _trusts_ Blaine, no matter how long and how hard he had tried to convince himself that he didn't, that he shouldn't. He does. And he knows in his heart that that trust is well deserved.

But love and trust and comfort—are those things enough? Enough to commit to marrying someone at his age? He'd always wanted to be married by age thirty, but engaged at twenty? It all just seems...

He sighs again, staring at his left hand, at his naked ring finger. He'd given himself a manicure the night after regionals, all the while laughing at himself. He'd look good with a ring on his finger. He feels like he's always wanted one there, ever since he was a little boy and asked his mom why she was wearing hers. “ _Because your dad gave it to me_ ,” she'd said. “ _It means he loves me_.”

There have been many moments in Kurt's life that he's wanted her, missed her, craved her company and her insight, but none of those moments have even come close to the way he wants her now. What would she think? What would she advise?

He stands again and looks at his reflection in the mirror. He's wearing blue—the perfect opposite and compliment to yellow. His hair is swooped to perfection, his shirt is pressed, his shoes and his nails are shined. He looks pale and terrified and unsure. His heart is steady but his mind is racing. He feels as though something is missing, something to tie it all together. Something steady and reassuring.

“Kurt, you almost ready to go, Bud?” his dad calls from downstairs. He hollers back an affirmative, suddenly so, so relieved that his father is going to be there with him. But he wants her, too.

He takes a few long strides into his walk-in closet and reaches up high, to the back corner of the shelf. His hands fall upon it, the sharp corners and the cool wood sides. It's been a long time since he's taken it down; he'd taken everything he'd wanted from it long before moving to New York. But he knows it's in there, knows that he wants it now, needs it. It's always made him sad and so he's never touched it, never worn it since she died. It's the last thing he'd ever given her, after all. The last thing before a kiss on her waxy forehead.

He opens the jewelry box, his fingers searching through broken chains and earrings and mismatched baubles until he finds it. It's cool to the touch. He runs his fingertips over it, tracing the lilies, the shape of the heart. It's perfect. It's exactly what he was missing. Exactly what he needs.

He walks back over to the mirror and fastens the brooch onto his lapel. She can be with him today. He's going to need her.

He hears a sharp rap on the door as he's putting his mother's jewelry box back in the closet and returns to find his dad lifting his suitcase off the bed. Burt just stands and looks at him for a moment before nodding his head at the brooch.

“It looks nice,” is all he says with words, but his eyes are wide and green and maybe a little bit wet.

Kurt follows his father out to the car and slides into the passenger seat. He snaps on his seatbelt and looks at the house. When he returns there, will everything be different?

He still doesn't know what he's going to say.

 

 


End file.
